Relationships – as essential as water and air to our health and survival

Nothing is better for your soul—and your health as it turns out—than spending time with cherished friends and/or family. A couple of weeks ago, I had the good fortune to spend a weekend away with three dear friends for the first time in three long years. Yup, you guessed it: we kept our distance during the pandemic.

I’ve known these wonder women for the better part of 40 years. We’re similar in age, have all worked in health care—in fact, that’s how we met—and, over the years, have worked for and/or with one another in various capacities on countless projects.

With our busy lives that include work, volunteering, child-rearing, caregiving and more, we don’t see each other often but when we do, it’s as though no time at all has passed. We pick up where we left off and away we go.

During our girls’ weekend, we reminisced, walked, laughed, shopped, cooked, ate and yes, we enjoyed some wine. The weather wasn’t the greatest but it didn’t matter. What did was the warmth I experienced all weekend from what felt like a great big group hug. It lingers still. Makes me smile and realize how fortunate I am to have such extraordinary people in my life.

Sadly, for many Canadians that’s not the case, and it’s likely taking a toll on their health.

A 2019 survey conducted by the Angus Reid Institute found that 51% of Canadians 15 years and older reported feeling somewhat to very isolated while 48% said they were somewhat to very lonely. And that was before the COVID-19 pandemic.

The Canadian Social Survey: Loneliness in Canada, administered in the summer 2021, echoed these results as did the National Institute on Ageing’s (NIA) June 2022 report, Understanding Social Isolation and Loneliness Among Older Canadians and How to Address It.

In “Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation 2023, The U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory on the Healing Effects of Social Connection and Community,” released earlier this month, Dr. Vivek H. Murthy, issues a call-to-action for a multi-faceted national strategy—much like the one initiated in 1964 to curb smoking—to address the urgent epidemic of loneliness and isolation in America which, he says, represents profound threats to individual and community health and well-being.

A similar clarion call was issued in 2018 in Britain when Prime Minister Teresa May appointed the first Minister for Loneliness on the heels of a report from the Jo Cox Commission on Loneliness. Cox, as you may recall, was a Labour Party lawmaker who was gunned down and stabbed to death in June 2016.

According to Dr. Murthy, four decades of research across several different scientific disciplines confirm that people of all ages are feeling increasingly lonely and socially isolated: “About half of American adults report being lonely with some of the highest rates amongst young adults.”

All studies on the subject to date indicate that the incidence of social isolation and loneliness is on the rise even though we are more digitally connected than ever before. In fact, technology may be part of the problem: it’s changed the way we live, work, communicate and socialize. While it can help us stay connected, it can also divide and isolate, and erode both self-esteem and trust.

Data across 148 studies with an average of 7.5 years of follow-up suggest that social connection increases the odds of survival by 50%.

U. S. Surgeon General’s 2023 Advisory on the Healing Effects of Social Connection and Community

What’s more, (chronic) social disconnection, isolation and loneliness are hazardous to our physical and mental health, and longevity. The evidence on this is clear: four decades worth of research tell us that social connection is a significant predictor of longevity and better physical, cognitive and mental health while social isolation and loneliness are significant predictors of poor health, and premature death from all causes. Loneliness is associated with significantly greater health risks of cardiovascular disease, dementia, stroke, depression, anxiety and premature death.

The effects of social disconnection, isolation and loneliness on mortality are comparable to and, in some cases greater than, those of many other health risk factors, including lifestyle factors such as smoking, alcohol consumption and physical inactivity; clinical indicators, for example, having high blood pressure, BMI or cholesterol; environmental variables such as air pollution; and risks associated with clinical interventions related to vaccines, medication and rehabilitation.

Loneliness and isolation also foreshadow lower academic achievement, workplace productivity and increased absenteeism. Dr. Murthy says, the negative effects on individuals who are socially isolated and/or lonely trickle down to entire communities where safety, prosperity and overall well-being become equally at risk.

According to the 2023 Advisory, the COVID pandemic served to crystallize and accelerate trends that have been building for decades. Addressing them, he says, requires a sustained effort, both individually and collectively, as well as investment and focus.

The report lays out a framework for a national six-pillared strategy to enhance social connection and cultivate values that connect rather than isolate. The action items required range from additional research, education and raising awareness to changes in public policies, and practices at the community level as well as in the health sector and digital realm—to mention a few.

At the individual level, the report recommends we:

• Learn about the life-saving power of social connection as well as the consequences of loneliness and social disconnection.

• Invest in strengthening existing relationships and forging new connections, preferably with people of different backgrounds and experiences from our own

• Minimize distractions during conversations with others and put away our phones

• Seek new opportunities to serve and support others

• Reflect on the core values of connection—kindness, respect, gratitude, service and support—and how we demonstrate our concern and commitments to others 

• Participate in social, special interest and community groups—fitness, sport, environmental, hobbies, etc., and make time for civic engagement

• Reduce practices that lead to feelings of disconnection, e.g., excessive use of media and technology 

• Be open with health care providers about significant changes in our lives and how we are coping with them

• Seek help during times of struggle with isolation and/or loneliness

Which brings me back to my friends. Simply expressing my gratitude for having them in my life seems hopelessly inadequate considering just how critical they are to my physical and mental health, and longevity. They are a gift so rare and precious. I, for one, will be doing everything I can to hold them close and offer them the same life-saving benefits they so generously give me.

In the weeks, months and years ahead, I hope you, too, will keep your friends and family members close, get involved in your community and perhaps reach out to others who are on their own so you can all benefit from the health and happiness that come with social connection.