Lessons I learned from my daughter
If you enjoy learning as much I do, you already know that there are valuable lessons to be learned anywhere, any time and from any one when we chose to open our minds and hearts, and really listen. As parents, we try to pass on important life lessons (and values) to our kids. And sometimes, if we’re lucky, the tables turn... Here are a few pearls of wisdom I’ve picked up from my daughter.
If you have a dream—follow it, even when the going gets tough
Whatever the dream, it can be realized. I truly believe that. All you need is a well thought out plan to get there, concrete action steps, consistent effort and support from those who matter most. It may take time, there may be set-backs, you may even fall off the mountain but, barring disaster, if you get right back on it, keep following the plan and consistently execute the steps identified as being critical to achieving your goal, it will happen.
Athletes know this. Those who have their hearts set on going to the Olympics, for instance, don’t get there overnight. They put in hours of work. As my daughter’s first swim coach said: “First, you learn to swim (Read: technique), then you learn to train (Translation: hard work and discipline) and then you learn how to compete (Mom’s interpretation: how to enjoy success and face disappointment with grace)—in that order and, we’ll have lots of fun along the way.”
Approach your dream like an athlete. Set realistic, short-term goals and celebrate your achievement of them. Then move the bar a bit higher, establish new, more challenging goals and work hard to achieve them. Rinse and repeat … until your dream comes true.
And, should the unforeseen happen—a serious injury or health issue—and you’re unable to pursue that dream, ask yourself: “Have I done everything within my power and control to overcome this obstacle that’s standing between me and my dream?” Be honest with yourself. If the answer is yes, then it’s time to move on. There’s no shame in that, knowing that you gave that dream your all. Sometimes, things just don’t work out the way we’d hoped.
Take time to grieve the loss and then use it as a springboard to re-assess what’s important to you. Think both short-term and longer-term. Sometimes getting stopped in our tracks is a call to action. Shine a light on it. Get curious. You may just find some new, compelling attraction calling to you from the shadows.
Do you, regardless of what others say
Sometimes, the expectations others have of us—however well-intentioned—can send us down a path that we’re not sure we want to follow. When those expectations come from someone older (and ostensibly wiser) than we are, or in a position of authority, it can be especially difficult to change directions. But, if our hearts aren’t in it, our feet won’t follow.
Take time to explore different paths and where they lead. Take the one that makes your heart sing and your feet dance … no matter what anyone says!
If something’s not right, shine a light on it
Sometimes it’s easier to avoid what we don’t understand or fear. It’s only natural to shy away from discomfort or unease, and sometimes we need time to process what’s really going on. But, when we keep turning away, whatever “it” is keeps gnawing at us, zapping our energy and enthusiasm for other, more positive aspects of our lives.
It could be a physical complaint, sadness about the state of a relationship or perhaps dissatisfaction with how we look or feel. Whatever the issue, we tend to dismiss it and chock it up to a bad day until it becomes so acute, so present or paralyzing that we can’t ignore it anymore. It can take time, sometimes weeks, months or even years to reach the tipping point. Meanwhile, we’ve spent all that time feeling miserable and sadly, we won’t ever get it back.
Instead of putting up with all that pain and angst, what if we adopted a curious mindset and shone a light on what's troubling us? It takes courage and commitment to pull back the curtain and sometimes we need professional help to do it. That’s okay. We all need a helping hand now and then.
Getting curious frees us up to explore things in a kind and non-judgemental way. Once we’re able to identify the underlying issue and name it, we can formulate a plan to deal with it. All that energy spent stewing can now be put to resolving the situation—whatever it may be. And that’s empowering!
If you’re sick and tired of feeling miserable—for whatever reason—grab your flashlight, put on your detective’s hat and get curious! You’ll feel better for it.
Sometimes, we all need a down day
It happened almost like clockwork. Once a month during her high school years, my daughter would just crash—physically and emotionally spent by all that she was juggling at the time. Don’t get me wrong, she’s no wuss.
To be honest, we were all exhausted: trying to manage her schedule on top of our own was brutal. Looking back, I wonder how on earth we managed it all.
Piper’s mind and body were telling her “enough is enough,” and to her credit she listened, and took what came to be known in our house as a ‘down day.’ The next day, she’d be right back at it. Relaxed, revved up and ready to go all over again.
What’s your body trying to tell you? Maybe it’s time for a down day.
Time matters, more than stuff
We all know that Harry Chapin ballad, Cat’s in the Cradle … ”And as I hung up the phone, it occurred to me, he'd grown up just like me …” Or in my case, she.
In the blink of an eye, our children grow up and move halfway around the world. Poof! Grown. Gone.
Time really is our most precious possession. Well, that and our health of course. The memories made from time well spent will nourish us for a lifetime. Just as taking good care of ourselves by eating a healthy diet, getting regular exercise and a good night’s sleep will add years to our life, and life to our years.
If you’ve been contemplating action to improve your health, today’s the day to start. Tomorrow doesn’t come with any guarantees. Seize the day. Hop to it. The sooner you get started, the better off you’ll be.